In Indonesia, small talk can be a ninja way to avoid awkwardness when starting a conversation. But the problem is, it is common to find small talk that actually makes other people uncomfortable. For example, for those who are in college, just the sentence “when will you graduate?” can be so sharp. Or for those who are considered old enough, the sentence “when will you get married?” can immediately make you feel uneasy.
Although uncomfortable, for most Indonesians, these questions can probably be considered small talk and are simply responded to carelessly. But for those who are not Indonesian, this phenomenon is clearly surprising. How can such a personal matter be asked openly, even by a nobody. Haruka, ex-JKT48, is one of those who is quite surprised by the question “when will you get married?” because in her hometown, Japan, she has never encountered such a thing.
Haruka said that getting married young for Japanese people is not a good thing.
In a television show, Haruka, who appeared as a guest star, admitted that she often gets asked why she is not married even though she is already 28 years old. This question surprised the woman whose full name is Haruka Nakagawa, because in Japan this is never questioned. She even said that women in Japan ideally get married between the ages of 30 and 40, because for Japanese people, getting married young is not considered a good thing.
“In Japan, many people get married between the ages of 30 and 40. Because getting married young is not good in Japan. Because they say, you can’t even take care of yourself, why take care of your family,” said Haruka on the Rumpi show (30/9/2020).
Even so, Haruka, who has had a long career in Indonesia, does not completely agree with the views of the majority of Japanese people regarding marriage. For her, there is no age limit for someone who wants to get married. She said she is ready to get married anytime if she has a soulmate.
“For me, if I have a soulmate, it’s okay, getting married right away is also not a problem. But, until now there is no match, what do you think?” Haruka concluded.
Marriage for Japanese people can be said to not be a priority
What surprised Haruka seems to represent the surprise of the majority of the Japanese population when asked a similar question. Because in fact, the marriage rate in the Land of the Rising Sun is quite low. In 2017, Japan even recorded the fewest marriages since the end of World War II, which was only 607,000 marriages. The Japanese government responded to this condition that could threaten the population by creating many programs that make it easier for couples in Japan to get married. The hope is that it can encourage the birth rate. Therefore, for Japanese people, the question “when are you getting married?” can seem ridiculous if asked by fellow citizens, except by the government because they do have a mission with marriage.
Observers say the decline in the number of marriages in Japan is associated with the high cost of childcare and education, as well as the rules of companies where young Japanese people work. This can be seen, among other things, through the common reasons that couples in Japan are reluctant to get married because the time to meet each other is used up for work. In addition, the increasing habit of having relationships without getting married may also affect the interest of couples in Japan to officially get married.
Now, for those of you who are still embarrassed to start a conversation with someone, choose light small talk. If it is still possible to ask the question “where have you been, you’re rarely seen,” even though it’s trite, then use it. What kind of answer does the questioner expect from the question “when are you getting married?”