Almost Every Day I Hear Questions About When I Will Have Children, Here’s Tara Basro’s Wise Answer

Maybe you’ve been in this position; single people are asked when they will have a partner, those who already have a potential life partner are asked when they will get married, and those who are married are asked when they will have children. Whether it’s small talk or curiosity, this question can sometimes make someone sad. Especially for those who are married and have not been blessed with children. Even though we don’t know what their condition is or whether they want to have children or not.

This is also what actress Tara Basro experienced. Not even 6 months into her marriage with Daniel Adnan, the actress who played Tanah Jahanam said that she often received questions about when she would get pregnant from people around her.

The 30-year-old actress admits that she hears the question of when she will be pregnant every day and treats it like a broken record.

Tara Basro’s answer was given after one of the netizens on Instagram’s Question Sticker feature asked about Tara’s response to public questions such as when she will have a baby. “Every day I hear this question like a broken record, in person, via DM, via phone, everything,” said the actress who often echoes self-love, on Sunday (13/12).

Tara said she understands that people who ask such questions may not have malicious intentions. However, according to her, it is a habit that really needs to be changed. “But seriously, as much as possible avoid this question unless the person concerned initiates the discussion of this topic, either because they are really pregnant or already know the gender of their child, because this is very personal and sensitive,” she explained.

He also continued that discussing pregnancy is a personal choice for each person because we never know the struggle behind it.

Then, the actress who is famous for the film A Copy of Mind said to position herself as the person being asked the question. It could be that she has made various efforts to have children but there is an unwanted problem. “Can you imagine, there are people who have done everything but are not given, or there are fertilization problems, miscarriages, medical problems and then people just casually ask ‘Oh when are you pregnant?’ ‘Oh are you pregnant?’ Can you imagine how she feels, things like that are not nice to be asked,” she explained. Tara also said that she had an experience beyond her control. At that time, her stomach was touched because it was thought that she was pregnant. Therefore, the habit of being curious should not be continued. This Jakarta-born woman explained that sensitive questions like that also apply to those who often discuss someone’s physical appearance, it could be that the person has made such a big struggle to diet, exercise and even sacrifice happiness, suddenly gets the question “are you pregnant?”

In her statement, Tara Basro had time to answer the pregnancy issue that has recently been circulating.

Recently, Tara Basro was suspected of being pregnant by some netizens. In addition to her fuller body, it was also because Vidi Aldiano had made a joke about it. Tara Basro then corrected the suspicion. The wife of actor Daniel Adnan said that she was not pregnant.

“Also answering for those who asked. Not yet. Thank you for asking. Just pray because pregnancy is like a gift from God. So, only God knows when,” she said.

Unlike in Japan, Former JKT48 Member Haruka is Surprised by the Common Question of When She Will Get Married in Indonesia

In Indonesia, small talk can be a ninja way to avoid awkwardness when starting a conversation. But the problem is, it is common to find small talk that actually makes other people uncomfortable. For example, for those who are in college, just the sentence “when will you graduate?” can be so sharp. Or for those who are considered old enough, the sentence “when will you get married?” can immediately make you feel uneasy.

Although uncomfortable, for most Indonesians, these questions can probably be considered small talk and are simply responded to carelessly. But for those who are not Indonesian, this phenomenon is clearly surprising. How can such a personal matter be asked openly, even by a nobody. Haruka, ex-JKT48, is one of those who is quite surprised by the question “when will you get married?” because in her hometown, Japan, she has never encountered such a thing.

Haruka said that getting married young for Japanese people is not a good thing.

In a television show, Haruka, who appeared as a guest star, admitted that she often gets asked why she is not married even though she is already 28 years old. This question surprised the woman whose full name is Haruka Nakagawa, because in Japan this is never questioned. She even said that women in Japan ideally get married between the ages of 30 and 40, because for Japanese people, getting married young is not considered a good thing.

“In Japan, many people get married between the ages of 30 and 40. Because getting married young is not good in Japan. Because they say, you can’t even take care of yourself, why take care of your family,” said Haruka on the Rumpi show (30/9/2020).

Even so, Haruka, who has had a long career in Indonesia, does not completely agree with the views of the majority of Japanese people regarding marriage. For her, there is no age limit for someone who wants to get married. She said she is ready to get married anytime if she has a soulmate.

“For me, if I have a soulmate, it’s okay, getting married right away is also not a problem. But, until now there is no match, what do you think?” Haruka concluded.

Marriage for Japanese people can be said to not be a priority

What surprised Haruka seems to represent the surprise of the majority of the Japanese population when asked a similar question. Because in fact, the marriage rate in the Land of the Rising Sun is quite low. In 2017, Japan even recorded the fewest marriages since the end of World War II, which was only 607,000 marriages. The Japanese government responded to this condition that could threaten the population by creating many programs that make it easier for couples in Japan to get married. The hope is that it can encourage the birth rate. Therefore, for Japanese people, the question “when are you getting married?” can seem ridiculous if asked by fellow citizens, except by the government because they do have a mission with marriage.

Observers say the decline in the number of marriages in Japan is associated with the high cost of childcare and education, as well as the rules of companies where young Japanese people work. This can be seen, among other things, through the common reasons that couples in Japan are reluctant to get married because the time to meet each other is used up for work. In addition, the increasing habit of having relationships without getting married may also affect the interest of couples in Japan to officially get married.

Now, for those of you who are still embarrassed to start a conversation with someone, choose light small talk. If it is still possible to ask the question “where have you been, you’re rarely seen,” even though it’s trite, then use it. What kind of answer does the questioner expect from the question “when are you getting married?”