Marriage is expected to be a romantic and sacred moment that only happens once in a lifetime. When you decide to get married, there are many things that you have to compromise with your partner. But people often forget, exploring a new life means you also need to learn to ‘compromise’ with yourself. There are many things that brides and grooms forget to pay attention to for themselves when facing the euphoria of getting married.
Ellen McCarthy Rosenthal, author of The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter’s Notebook, also revealed that the most successful and happy couples have one thing in common: they both have reasonable expectations. So, to convince yourself whether you are entering a conscious, compatible and healthy relationship, try answering these expert questions honestly before you are really sure about marrying your partner.
1. Does this relationship feel fair enough?
It’s important to answer this question honestly. The problem is, many people ignore this sense of unfairness early in a relationship and end up feeling like they’re giving in or compromising too much. This can actually ruin your marital happiness.
2. What expectations about marriage did your parents instill in you?
Everyone comes from a different family background. Whether you realize it or not, this background also shapes your biggest expectations about marriage. Person A may have been raised in a family that always prioritized children in the family, while Person B may be the opposite, feeling that in marriage the partner is the most important and children need to be taught to be more independent. So it’s important to ask yourself this, so that your expectations will be more reasonable later.
3. Do I really want children?
Not all couples really want marriage. Try asking yourself, do you really want children? How many children do you want? If you yourself are still hesitant and uncertain, how can you discuss it with your partner. This is something that people often don’t think about but can ruin a marriage. If the answers are opposite, you want to have children and your partner doesn’t? Well, reconsider continuing the relationship.
4. What are my goals in life and are they compatible with my partner’s goals?
Don’t just go with the flow. You need to know what you want and whether it is not far from your partner’s goals. You don’t want to end up in a big fight after getting married because the gap in vision is too big, right?
5. What will I do to prepare for the wedding or life after the wedding is over? It’s not about the reception
Last but not least, this question is probably the most overlooked by people. In fact, consciously writing down your expectations and the things you have prepared for running a household is important. For example, planning to read books about healthy marriages together or planning to attend a marriage seminar. Express this to your partner. Honesty and a desire to try are the keys to a healthy and happy marriage.
So, what are your answers to all these questions? Hey, no need to tell Hipwee. It is you and your partner who should know what your most honest answers are. Remember, being honest with yourself and not being afraid to express your opinions is a form of self-love that can support your happiness in your future marriage.